My Guides Address My Self-Esteem (Body Issues, Anyone?)
This week, I’ve come back to going through my journal entries and Spirit speaking to me beginning in 2016. This all started because one of my readers wanted to know how I started following my intuition and becoming more comfortable with it. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve gone over these journal entries, and I left off just as things were starting to pick up. To be honest, though, I think I’m ready to move on from this topic very soon, so I’m guessing you are too. (If I’m wrong, just let me know, and I’ll keep going or go into more detail.) That means I’m going to try to wrap this review up this week and the next. I’ve got some messages from some angels and other divinities to share with you, like the one I shared last week from Sarasvati.
So, let’s get back into the end of August 2016. The last post I shared about my guides’ communication brought up self-esteem issues. Let’s pick up the next day, where the theme comes in again. I really want to share it today because I know so many of us have self-esteem issues surrounding at least one part of our physical form.
Friday 26 August 2016
Trying my visualization this morning to the mantra of “my outer beauty/form reflects my inner beauty/form.” Some issues were raised. First, how does matter reflect soul beauty, objectively? We all have differing ideas of physical beauty. It was a good point, so I began considering how I thought my body should reflect my soul. Yesterday, I did this by saying I want to be strong, sturdy, a place of refuge, but not so “fluffy.” Today, I took a different tack, envisioning my body as it is, with the flame of spirit filling it, and trying to envision my body thinning to mold itself to that flame.
The “problem” arose when one of my guides (or my Self) said, with what seemed confusion, “How can a body smaller than this accurately reflect a spirit that is ‘larger than life’?” I laughed. It’s a fair point.
If I keep in mind what U. S. Andersen wrote [in the book Three Magic Words], that my form is the result of my knowing myself, if I keep saying I want my body to accurately reflect my spirit, I must be very clear in what aspect of my spirit I want reflected, and in what way, because obviously, it already does, but in a way that I apparently want to be different.
My body is currently soft and warm and comforting like my spirit, so exactly what is it that I want, my guides ask.
Yes, indeed. How would what I want my body to be reflect my spirit? As I reflect on this question, I am finding it a bit challenging to answer clearly, but I’m attempting it, to see if what I say I want is what I really want, or if I simply want my body to be different, regardless of how my soul shapes my form.
—I want my eyesight to be as clear as my vision/insight. (But that statement leads me to fear that perhaps my insight isn’t as clear as I believe and so, asking for such a thing will cause my eyesight to grow worse.)
—I want my body to be curvy and full, luscious and lithe, and in proportion. (It’s that last phrase, “in proportion,” that I think may be the challenge, as certain aspects of my spirit are not “in proportion” to others.)
This exercise is teaching me about my “inner” life, as it turns out. It’s going to warrant lengthy consideration. …
I just thanked my guides for their help this morning, and I received “You are very welcome,” in a sincere but bubbly, yet almost too formal way. I laughed and told my guides that I love them. That assurance that I am welcome is from the same guide who, months ago, nearly squealed that things were going to be “wonderful!” Today, it was an excited, joyful spirit attempting to be solemn—that’s what it was, not too formal, but an attempt at slight solemnity, an attempt to keep a cap on the bubbliness. And now she … is excited that I recognize her voice distinctly (which I have such difficulty with usually) and especially that I recognize her feelings. I cried in joy … laughing. So much beautiful joy.
Saturday 27 August 2016
Started to exercise with [a DVD] this morning but managed [only a few minutes]. I’m disappointed, particularly because the very first time I ever used the video, I got further than that. But at that time, I had been [exercising consistently for months]. Since then, I’ve had two children via abdominal surgery, and I’m sitting in a desk chair more often. …
I am partnering with my body to feel better, which involves healing. If there weren’t healing to do, I wouldn’t feel sore [just from stretching] . My body is still adjusting to its new state resulting from the effects of my pregnancy with Aidan and the surgery and recovery after.
The pregnancy wrought changes over 9 months, and then I had a minimum of 6 weeks to physically heal at the site of surgery, for my body to seal those wounds, but the systemic effects take much longer. Recovery this time is different than after Megan’s birth for a variety of reasons, and I should not keep comparing my current situation to that one. Simply do my best in every moment, and I will be fine. And my best requires making a judgment in each moment whether what I am doing is helping or [if] I should stop for now because I have gained the benefit I need in this moment and to continue would be to invite injury and further delay in recovery. … In this case, I assessed [the situation and] … opted to stop for the day. [Suddenly, my guides began offering me direct words:]
The decision has been made, so stop dwelling on it. Even now when you focus on those muscles, you know that you could attempt more but it would be foolish. Your ego tells you [that] you are mistress of your body, but your soul knows you are partners with your body.[Your body] gives you these signals to avoid injury, not out of laziness. You have worked with your body long enough to be able to discern the difference. You did not stop immediately but gave thoughtful attention to your muscles’ message, your ego’s message, and your desires (also part of the ego). Trust in your decisions. Even if you could have done more, it doesn’t matter. Tomorrow is another day, another opportunity. Had you done another … routine, you may have been able to complete it, but the routines are designed for different effects, and … you should be “gentle” with yourself. Remember that gentle does not mean lax but firmly understanding.
The next day, my guides continued my body self-esteem lesson. I saw a post on Facebook written by a woman, explaining that she had applied polish to the fingernails of some older women in a nursing home and one had refused because she said her hands were ugly and she didn’t want to call attention to them. The woman writing the post had explained to the resident that her hands were beautiful because they told the story of her life. She finished her Facebook post with words that have stuck with me ever since: “Sometimes what we are so insecure with, others find beauty in.”
Monday 29 August 2016
“Sometimes what we are so insecure with, others find beauty in.” I’ve made that part of my vision board, and it reminds me that even when I’m insecure about my body, [someone] finds it attractive. [This] is a lesson to me in accepting my body as beautiful just the way it is. I love my body and appreciate it for all it has done for me and seen me through, but that’s not the same as finding it beautiful. I acknowledge, as U. S. Andersen wrote, that my form is the result of me knowing myself and the form my body has taken is purposeful, and it is thus perfect.
When you’re open to really working on the nitty-gritty, your guides will tell it like it is, but they will also support you mightily. The more willing I am to really examine my assumptions and what I say I want, versus what I really want, the more my guides engage clearly and strongly with me. It requires a lot of effort and a certain sort of bravery. But then things started to shift even faster for me, as I realized in September. That tale, however, is for next week.
Have any questions so far? Comment below or email me. I’ll probably turn the response into another blog post.