This post is the twentieth in a series that shares my Divine team talk (conversations with and insights from my Divine team). All of the Divine team talk posts to this point have shared conversations since March 2020. (In case you missed it, you can find the first here.)
For this post and the next, however, I want to go back a bit further in 2020, to January through March. In January 2020, I was at a real low. I was struggling emotionally and physically. I was also struggling psychologically because of the challenges I was facing in working for one client and in trying to build an income that was independent from that client. I was losing my temper frequently and yelling at my kids, which makes me feel terrible and is a sure sign that I’m in need of an attitude adjustment.
I had not been listening or going to my Divine Team much for several weeks or months, and so I had just started seeking out their advice again. As you’ll see, that little bit of effort on my part resulted in big changes in just one day.
21 January 2020
My one MDC affiliate has not been replying to my messages trying to help her build a business. …
I’m disappointed, not just because she’s been unresponsive but also because after months, I still haven’t gained more affiliates and I have few customers. But this morning, I watched a video from an MDC affiliate whose team was [very financially successful] last year. She said that for 3 years, she had only 1 team member but kept going.
So I’m doing my best not to lose faith. I’m remembering the numerical message I received [from my guides two days ago]. I feel down right now, but I refuse to stay down.
It seems there are some energetic influences at play in the world, as there’s been a lot of negativity online, too, judging by some posts I’ve seen.[1] “Just keep swimming …” That’s what I remind myself.
***
I’m feeling a bit emotional and down, so I’m asking the Oracle to share with me whatever I most need to know/do today.
In my head before shuffling [the cards], I’m hearing, “Good fortune is coming your way; stay the course.”
The card I drew from the Lenormand deck was 38, Bridges. Transition, overcoming obstacles, “a way to cross a divide and thereby open up new opportunities.” Connections, building bridges between people.
My guides tell me I’m crossing a chasm, and I need to keep my eyes looking forward, not down, because it’s too easy to lose my balance and fall into that abyss of failure and sorrow.
***
In simply looking at the [publishing client] emails waiting for me, I’m feeling apprehension and wanting to just hide. That’s strange for me on any day. … I think I’m going to take a few minutes to do a heart-chakra-strengthening/supporting exercise.
***
Yes, that’s better.
***
“Do your thing, girl. Just keep doing your thing!” I heard as I was considering [publishing client] and MDC, along with everything else. The voice didn’t sound like [that of my maternal grandmother], but the message had her energy behind it.
***
[The owner of my publishing client] is good at telling people what they want to hear; I’m good at telling people the truth. And I don’t shy away from the hard conversations or the hard facts. I certainly don’t enjoy them, but I’ll face them, even if reluctantly. [In contemplating that, I heard from my guides (in italics below) and continued the conversation.]
Keep doing what you’re doing, girl.
Okay, but in what way?
In every way. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing in all your work, in working on yourself, supporting your spouse, loving your children. You will see success at the level you want, even though the winter is cold right now. (That bit about winter is figurative as well as literal, it seems—a reminder that winter nearly always brings doubt, along with fewer funds and people’s general lack of interest in anything other than basic survival.)
When in doubt, cuddle with your kids. That will always lead you aright.
***
I must have somehow been closed off from my higher guidance, because this is the first shared conversation I’ve received in a while, and it is swelling my heart and filling my entire being with love.
They tell me they’re always here and I’m never alone, which I know, of course, but how in the world had I lost the ability to hear them without even realizing it? They tell me it was because I’d started doubting myself—and that I should never do so.
I got lost in the struggle and the fear—I’m shown myself in a huge crowd in a dusty, dusky place, where it’s easy to lose yours sense of direction. I got a little too focused on the daily grind, and so even though I was still on the right path, I became a bit panicked from not being able to see that path, given the tightly packed crowd around me and the dimness of the light.
***
It is truly amazing how much better I feel just from giving my chakras (all of them) a little tune-up and having a brief conversation with my guides. I feel 180 degrees from where I was emotionally 2 hours ago!
***
Someone on Facebook really liked a post I made this morning. [Here’s the post:]
I wasn’t on social media much yesterday because I had both kids home from school, but it looks like there were a lot of negative comments in some of the groups I was in, and I saw some live videos of friends of mine who had negative experiences, of people talking down to them and basically shitting (no, there’s not really a nice way to put it) on their dreams.
I have to say, I am really glad that I missed all the negativity, but I’m sorry for all of you who experienced any of it.
It did lead to some good things, though. Some people’s faith got even stronger as a result. Some groups cleansed their membership of rude and negative people.
So I’m here to remind you, if you face that kind of adversity or negativity, I know it’s going to hurt. But I’m begging you to not let it destroy you or to even get you down for long.
Let it make you stronger. Stick to it with sheer cussedness and stubbornness if you have to, and show the world (and especially yourself) your brightest light.
[One friend replied to say that she loved the message. She also replied] to my Live video that day: “LOVE the work that you are doing to shine your light and encouraging others to do the same.”
***
Something has opened up in/for me since my chakra charging this morning. I was cheerful on the phone with [publishing client authors], and I’ve started making my list of Facebook Live ideas that I’ve been putting off doing for weeks. My ideas are flowing, and I’m full of ideas, rather than short of them. It’s amazing.
And in going through my notes, I found this gem from Lacy Garza: “There are millions of people in this world who need to hear your voice, but they’re never going to hear it unless you start talking.”
I’m once again posting on Facebook from a place of love and relating to people from my heart center. That’s a big energy shift for one day.
***
I am thankful that my guides kept sending me that angel number over and over again until I finally noticed, because it caused me to really start to listen again—hence the Divine Team Talks I’ve been sharing with you for the past few months. The number was 1234, which, according to Sacred Scribes Angel Numbers, means “You may have to put some hard work and effort towards a new project, venture or important life-change, and these will be of long-term benefit to yourself and your loved ones. Trust that the work and effort you have put towards achieving your goals and aspirations will be well worth your while and you will find long-term success and personal fulfillment.
Because I received the message of Angel Number 1234, even as COVID-19 came crashing into the United States and affecting our lives in ways we had never seen before, I kept striving to “put some hard work and effort towards” some changes, even when I felt like giving in to the exhaustion and despair that we all began to feel.
This series has been showing how I started that work, first by asking for my guides’ help and then by implementing their suggestions. Before I could do that, though, I had to start conquering some of my insecurities. I did that with more help—and encouragement—from my guides, which will be the focus of my next blog post.
***
Note
[1] Keep in mind that this was before the 2020 election, as well as before COVID-19 had been announced to the world.
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