In my morning silence/meditation, once I had found my mental stillness, I felt a gentle presence and heard a sweet, soft voice with a bit of an Eastern lilt, speak. Somehow, I was without my journal, but I wanted to record it for posterity, as I do when messages come in unbidden like this, so I began typing and gave myself over to the conversation.

You have a lot to “worry” about, you tell yourself. Don’t worry about them, just handle them. All will be well.

You are stepping forth on an incredible, magical journey. “Enjoy!” (This last word was drawn out in an excited tone with a little trill at the end, kind of like how someone would say, “Bon appétit!”)

And then I realized it was Mother Mary speaking to me.

 

Yes, Mary, the mother of Jesus. Honestly, I was surprised at the realization, and I even questioned if my intuition of her identity was correct. I’ve never been particularly drawn to Mother Mary, never been incredibly moved by the story of a virgin birth. But as I’ve come to learn over the past few months, if I am open to receiving messages from “the other side,” just about anybody will stop in for a chat, whether I think I’m not worthy of them or even have no idea who they are. So, as you do when an unexpected visitor of some import shows up on your doorstep, I took a deep breath, briefly expressed the delight and surprise I felt, then welcomed my guest in:

Good morning, Mother. Do you visit me for any particular purpose this morning?

Of course! To tell you that you are embarking on a new journey. Enjoy it. Revel in it. You have worked hard for this, and now it all begins to come to fruition. [She shows me images so I understand she is not speaking only of the past year but of the time since my first miscarriage.]

Thank you. Why you? Only because I was reading about you most recently and you were on my mind?

That. And also because of the forgiveness you granted yourself and others last night in your journal work. [Womb work and motherhood—particularly my grandmothers—have been on my mind over the past week or so, and last night, I was reflecting on my anger about my own pregnancies and childbirthing.] It is okay to feel this anger, which you recognized. It [the anger] won’t go away simply because you forgave it. Expect it to keep coming up for a while, because you are allowing it to exist. It will take you some time to experience it and let it go. You are on a path of motherhood, of DIVINE motherhood, birthing a new concept of humanity, a new human race.

Whoa. That sounds intimidating. And scary. And, to be honest, larger than me and larger than something I can handle.

 

And yet you are part of it, and it is part of you. The mother wound is being healed within you. You feel it [the wound, as well as the healing of it] even as we speak. You have a wound inside relating to motherhood, and so do millions of other women currently alive. Last night, you embraced the pain, then anger and frustration, surrounding your motherhood. You embraced your mother wound. You heal yourself, and you hold space for others to also find and embrace their mother wounds, to nurse themselves back to emotional and spiritual health. Do not shy way from sharing this message. Share it today. Others need it, as well.

Okay, I will be sure to share it. Is there any particular message you would like me to share with my readers? Thus far, all you have said feels like it has been for me personally.

All messages meant for you personally are meant for others on a larger scale, as well. But yes, please share this:

You are not alone. Perhaps you have not given birth in this lifetime, but you are a mother. Perhaps you have had only miscarriages. You are a mother. Perhaps you are a man. Still, you are a mother. We are all perfect divine beings, neither male nor female, yet also both male and female. Through many lifetimes, you have been both male and female on this planet.

Embrace the feminine energy that I embody, that people the world over associate with me. Feel the divine love and grace that I bring. Allow yourself to bask in it. Extend that love and peace and forgiveness to yourself first. YES, YOURSELF. First. Then extend it to others.

We are bringing about healing of the feminine energy. Once, it [feminine energy on Earth] was domineering. For a long time since, it has been dominated by masculine energy. Now is the time to bring the two into balance. Not bringing the feminine energy back to domination, but to cohabitation with the masculine. Let the masculine and feminine energies fill you, settle in to you in roughly equal measure. Let them find harmony and balance. Don’t try. Don’t strain. Simply welcome the divine WHOLEness into yourself and experience it.

Then extend and radiate loving-kindness to yourself and to all others, that they may also welcome in such balance to their souls and their lives.

Thank you, Mother. This is a very powerful message, though gentle in its power. Shall we add any message for those who have a difficult time believing it—“swallowing this pill,” as we say?

Oh, no. There is no need. You accept it, or you don’t. Eventually, you will. Eventually, you will come to understand the importance of balanced energies. If you don’t now, you still have some learning and understanding to achieve, to experience. There is no rush. I and others like me are awaiting you and are helping you find that understanding. Those who have already found that understanding are holding the space open, also waiting, also extending this love and balance to you as if reaching out their hands for you to take. They extend this hand to you, dear ones, patiently waiting, willing to help you if you feel hesitant or scared. But there is nothing to be afraid of. There is no fear in the Divine Wholeness, only love.

 

When she finished speaking, she withdrew her energy to let me know that she was done. I was left a bit shaken emotionally, having felt the deep love and peace that she brought with her. Much of that feeling remained after she removed her presence, but some of it went with her, and there was a time of transition, of feeling “the real world” press in around me again, now that I was out of this bubble of deep peace and love. All I could manage was to say, “Thank you, Mother, for your insight and your message.”

Even now, half an hour later, I’m still feeling off-kilter, out of balance, trying to reconcile that inestimable love, peace, and stillness with the busyness of my everyday life. I’m settling in, allowing the two energies to balance—the calm mothering of Mother Mary and the high-strung energy that comes with parenting two children not yet in school. I’m still breathing deeply, experiencing the ebb and flow, the push and pull of the calm energies with the agitation at hearing my two-year-old, who should not even be awake yet, calling very loudly for me to come get him out of his bed.

I can tell I have not yet healed that mother wound. I’m on the verge of tears at admitting that I feel anger about anything related to my motherhood (including the infertility and miscarriages I experienced before having two live children), yet I admitted it last night in my journaling,. Because of all of the challenges I have experienced in trying to become a mother and in motherhood—infertility, multiple miscarriages (one of which led to drastic changes that caused me to lose much of my eyesight), a C-section rather than natural birth, a ruptured uterus, and my body not producing enough milk for my children—I have a lot of mixed emotions, including anger, fear, and guilt to go along with the joy and love.

It is natural to feel all of these emotions as a parent—especially when there’s sleep deprivation involved!—and I try always to remind myself of that.

Mother Mary reminds us that healing the mother wound doesn’t mean that we cease feeling the “negative” emotions. We are human, after all, and parenting can be challenging. Instead, healing the mother wound means we allow ourselves—without guilt or judgment—to feel all of the emotions that parenting raises in us. Even if we are not parents, we can heal the collective mother wound by coming to terms with our relationships with our mothers and all of the conflicting emotions that were involved there. But it doesn’t stop there. It extends to our mothers’ mothers, and their mothers, and theirs … and so on. Each mother has a certain way of parenting, and each successive generation is influenced—both positively and negatively—by the parenting it received. With each generation, the mother wound can be healed or enlarged—or both, alternatively.

Healing requires only that we accept and allow our emotions, and extend compassion to ourselves—and then do the same for everyone else.