Last weekend, one of my very close friends lost her daughter to suicide. This week, I’ve been part of the network of people helping my friend and her family with whatever we can during their time of grief.

I have no wise words to share this week. No spiritual light to try to fend off the dark. Because sometimes, you just have to feel the sadness. Or the numbness. Or the giddiness—let’s be real: Grief is messy, and grief is different from person to person. I have seen grief take many forms, and there is no right way, no wrong way, to grieve, so long as you’re healing.

This is where I urge you—if you are considering suicide—talk to someone. Anyone. If you think life is not worth living, talk to someone. If the person you want to talk to doesn’t seem to want to talk to you, find someone else. And if that person doesn’t, keep going. Please. You ARE worthy. You are worthwhile. Someone wants to listen to you. Life is worth living. Maybe right now, you don’t believe it, but this will pass.

I know, it sounds trite. I’ve been there. I’ve been in that depressed place. Find someone. Reach out. You are not a burden. Someone wants to listen to you.

One source of pain in this family is that some people don’t want to talk about the depression, or the fact that a preteen girl committed suicide. Suicide is NOT a dirty little secret. Don’t treat it like it is. Depression is real. It is not a dirty word. Suicide is real. It is not a dirty word. If we don’t talk about them and normalize them, more people will continue to suffer and more people will continue to die.

Whether you are depressed, considering suicide, know someone who is depressed, or know someone who has committed suicide…

Please.

Don’t.

Stay.

Silent.