This post is the twelfth in a series that shares my Divine team talk (conversations with and insights from my Divine team) since March 2020. (In case you missed it, you can find the first here.)
Last week’s post contained a single long journal entry, for May 27. It was a bit glum for me, but it was also important because it brought my attention away from the trees and to the forest—to the overall picture of some long-running issues.
The next day (probably because I had—at least momentarily—stopped struggling to make things happen), I started seeing things more positively, as you’ll see.
28 May 2020
Today is a new day, and though I still have some concerns, I have a whole new day to address them.
***
When I asked what I most need to know today, I received Ksa from the Lakota Sweat Lodge Cards. The key that struck me:
Although there are times we feel as if we are deep in turbulent waters, our most significant concerns only truly rise to the surface when we are ready to face them. Allow them to surface as they will. … Once they’ve surfaced … they are lighter, easier to face, and in a place where they can be resolved. … Stand back to get a clearer picture—do not allow yourself to become immersed with them.
The meditation: “As turbulence appears in my life, I search for the love present in all circumstances. From this perspective, I view the way of positive resolution.”[1]
I need to find the love and the flow, my guides tell me. The love leads to the flow. The flow leads to the peace.
As for what to do today, [I received] the Lovers reversed: “Be aware of letting one element of a choice overshadow all else. … [A] career decision with only an intellectual appeal … may not be the best choice in the long run.”[2]
No, and I’m not looking at only money for the long run, but I was going to say I need it in the short run, but [then] my guides [interrupted my argument to point out] that no, I really don’t, because we’ve had enough money to meet our needs. We may not be getting ahead as fast as we would like, but we are getting the minimum. I argue that our budget spreadsheet says that is incorrect.
Something [for me] to consider.
29 May 2020
[We just learned that my spouse had been hired as an “official,” rather than contract, employee. This job provided the employee—but not their family members—with health insurance, so I found coverage for me and the kids on the Marketplace. The cost would not be as low as for the family insurance offered by the contracting company], but we think this insurance covers more. … It basically eats up most of [my spouse’s] raise. … But [the health-insurance] worry is resolved, at least.
***
Finally, it seems we are moving forward. Today, the Gilded Tarot gave me the Magician for what I need to know: “You have the power within yourself to accomplish whatever you wish. You have the necessary tools at your disposal.[3] Focus your will and hone your skills.”
***
I’ve seen the number 444 popping up enough in the past few days that I just looked it up. It is
a message that you have nothing to fear in regards to your life, work and Divine life purpose. When you take positive action towards your highest intentions, aspirations and goals, the Universe works in your favour and helps you to establish solid foundations and advance you along your path.[4]
Again, I breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Finally!”
***
As I noted in last week’s post, my guides had been telling me for years to trust them and to have faith that my family would be provided for.
I’m stubborn and pigheaded, though, and of course my guides know this, so things often have to escalate until I have a near-breakdown (as I did on May 27) before I realize and acknowledge the truth. In this case, the truth was that we were doing just fine, even if our life wasn’t what we considered ideal.
We had been so busy struggling to attain—and quickly!—the picture that we had created of our ideal life that we were causing ourselves undue stress by forgetting that not yet being at that ideal didn’t mean we were not okay … and even better than okay. Despite the effects of the pandemic on our income and expenses, we had debt but weren’t buried under it, we were still paying all of our bills, we were not going hungry, and we were even able to sometimes offer material help to others without causing ourselves undue hardship.
Even before the pandemic, we had been in this position for years, often without steady work and/or steady income, without health insurance, without a lot of the “official” safety nets that others were just now losing. And we realized that these past few years had helped us to set up our lives in such a way that the pandemic made life harder for us barely, if at all. We certainly had to make adjustments, but they were different, not worse.
It’s too easy for me to push forward and keep trying to make things work, to not see the forest for the trees. My “breakdown” on May 27 forced me to assess the bigger picture and see the truth of the forest: We were doing just fine.
Notes
[1] I immediately added this to my daily morning affirmations, where it still remains.
[2] This is from the Gilded Tarot, by Barbara Moore.
[3] These two sentences were also added to and still remain part of my daily affirmations.
[4] From Angel Numbers by Joanne Sacred Scribes.
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