This post is the sixth in a series that shares my Divine team talk (conversations with and insights from my Divine team) since March 2020. (In case you missed it, you can find the first here.)
Thursday 9 April 2020
[A direct communication from my guides:]It is easy to get overwhelmed by thoughts of [publishing client] work, but try not to worry. Simply do the best you can. Those who are angry will be angry; those who are not will not. Do not worry if you [do work that] someone no longer wants [after you’ve done it], because you will be learning. Do not let fear hold you back. Move forward bravely, politely, and unapologetically. Do not apologize for the long response time. They must adapt to the new normal as you also must.
Sunday 19 April 2020
Yesterday, my guides prompted me, as I was considering life’s current direction and my career paths and purpose, to ask [a friend] to do a reading for me with her black tarot, as it’s shadow work I’m in need of and shadow work often requires the input of others [at least for me].
She nailed it, but I’ve got some research and work to do.
She asked, “Feeling stifled much?” and then sent a picture of the spread:
Querant: Ace of Wands (reversed)
Querant at present moment: 8 of Cups
Past: 6 of Wands
Present: 8 of Swords (reversed)
Future: Death
Present Situation: Heirophant
Hopes: Knight of Swords (reversed)
Obstacles: 3 of Pentacles (reversed)
Outcome: Sun
She wrote, “On the upside, a major shakeup is coming that should clarify quite a few things on the job front. You seem pretty set against whatever is going to allow you to begin again at the moment. Let loose and trust the universe.”
I’m not sure what I’m “pretty set against,” but when I read it, I felt some energetic barriers fall. I’ve been considering, trying to figure out what it might be. Financial failure? Dying? Diabetes or heart disease? Letting go of work for [publishing client] and doing only my other work? Reaching out to people to try to sell MDC and/or my Reiki and intuitive services? Working at all? What is it I’m “pretty set against”?
Because I wasn’t sure, [my friend] did a clarifying 3-card draw and had this to say: “You’re having serious hierarchical/other people in ‘boss’ mode issues lately. You keep hoping to surmount it, but the way isn’t through emotional means. You have to merge the emotional approach with a place of reason, though not necessarily logic.” (Cards: Magician, 3 of Cups, Heirophant.)
All that made sense to me, except the part about merging with reason but not necessarily logic, so I looked up the difference between reason and logic.
According to Quora.com:
Reason is subject to personal opinion.
Logic follows clearly defined rules and tests for critical thinking. Logic also seeks tangible, visible, or audible proof of a sound thought process by reasoning.
According to Wikipedia:
Reason is the capacity of consciously making sense of things, applying logic, and adapting or justifying practices, institutions, and beliefs based on new or existing information.
Logic … is the systematic study of the forms of inference, the relations that lead to the acceptance of one proposition, the conclusion, on the basis of a set of other propositions, the premises.
Things to consider. I’m still not sure about what I’m resisting … Energies [are] already shifting, though. I think I’m ready for a shakeup. (No lightning-struck tower showed up, though.)
Monday 20 April 2020
My initial thoughts yesterday about the “boss” I’m upset with were [publishing client] and maybe even [sales mentor]. But as I lay in bed last night after my prayers, I began raging against the universe and my guides. I [mentally only] raged and yelled about doing or trying to do what they tell me, but then not getting any benefit. I screamed that I felt alone and abandoned, even as I acknowledged quietly that I’ve always felt them [in] the past decade, at least.
I feel stifled because I do what “should” work, and it doesn’t—at least not nearly as much as I want it to. So there, of course, it’s attachment to a certain outcome that causes my suffering.
But I’ve been trained too much by society for my mind to accept that I can simply do things I enjoy, and my needs will be fulfilled—and, more importantly, my children’s needs.
So I’d say I’m resisting the idea of not working, even while I’m angry at the idea of having to trade my time to other people for money, to be beholden to someone, no matter whether it’s for an hour or a week. I’m angry about paying money for a website and a mailing list company but not getting income enough to cover my needs.
In fact, right now, I’m angry about lots of things.
I’m not sure what to do with or learn from this anger. Guess that’s what I’ll meditate about.
***
[Notes made after my meditation:]I feel angry when I feel helpless and out of control. I was shown several scenes from my life in illustration.
Right now, we’re in a storm that I have no control over, and so I’m angry. But my guides tell me that I should control what I can, to help myself be less fearful and angry.
When I asked how to tell what I do and don’t have control over, my guides (well, Metatron) told me to try, and if I seemed to have no success, to let it be, as something I can’t control.
Never any straightforward answers, but I guess if it were easy and clear, I wouldn’t need to ask for help in understanding.
Tuesday 21 April 2020
Notes as I look at the meaning of the cards [my friend] drew [for me], but using the companion book for the Gilded Tarot:
Ace of Wands as querant: The beginning of everything, the spark. Beware of ignoring opportunities and inaction.
8 of Cups: Me at this moment: I’ve let myself be distracted from my path for long enough. Time to forge ahead.
6 of Wants as past: Made good decisions, enjoyed success and accolades
8 of Swords reversed as present: I have the ability to see clearly, just need the courage to do so. Take control of your life. Do not let fear bind and blind you. Do not give in to helplessness.
Death as future: Spiritual growth brings pain.
Hierophant as present: Passing on of knowledge to people. Great knowledge is available to us.
Knight of Swords, reversed, as hopes: Beware of becoming so focused that I miss what’s going on around me.
3 of Pentacles, reversed, as obstacles: Losing the magical connection to the process and the creation of the product/project; losing the delight in what I used to enjoy.
Sun as outcome: Peaceful contentment, understanding myself and my role in the universe.
What I’m set against (Magician, 3 of Cups, Hierophant): Feeling controlled and manipulated. (Take responsibility for my own power and actions.) Ignoring the simple pleasures, not appreciating those around me. (This is not a time to focus on my problems.) Make sure all beliefs and practices make sense to your own heart and mind before making them part of your life.
***
I know a lot of people have had decidedly mixed feelings about work this past year, like I have. The balance of what I do has shifted several times in the past few months. What about you? Have you had similar experiences in the past year? Have your guides been helping you out? Have you felt nudged? Have you flat-out left your job or shifted completely to a new one? If so, I’d love to hear about your experience! Comment below or send me an email.
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