This post is the eighteenth in a series that shares my Divine team talk (conversations with and insights from my Divine team) since March 2020. (In case you missed it, you can find the first here.)

4 August 2020

[My income has declined further in recent weeks.] I’m feeling the occasional urge to tell [one of my publishing clients] that I’m available for projects. But I feel great resistance. They pay so little … and the two or three books I’ve edited for them were in such poor shape that I despaired. And I was expected to help authors if they had problems using the software that the company used. Still, the money would be helpful.

But is it a fair exchange? Almost everything inside me says no. One tiny little part of me points out that money is good and [this client] pays quickly. But they also expect me, a contractor, to reply to emails within a few hours, which disrupts my productivity time.

So perhaps when/if I lose all [of my current income, I will turn to them], but right now, my intuition tells me, it’s best to focus on building Wych Elm and MDC. My fear argues against that, but my intuition has been leading me well in the past few weeks, so I’m going to keep listening for at least a while longer.

9 August 2020

Energies are definitely moving favorably for Wych Elm. [I’m receiving emails and calls of] interest, and interest is good.

10 August 2020

I realized earlier today that I am exactly where I want to be right now, caring for the house and land (a little time each day) while working primarily on Wych Elm and taking care of myself while also earning “passive” income. This is what I’ve been envisioning for so long!

The only things I could wish to be “more” or different are that Wych Elm is bringing in more money (to support us), the passive income was from assets I created somehow instead of unemployment funds, and I were . . . in better [physical] shape. But I have faith that all those things will eventually happen, because I’m currently working toward all of them while also trying to stay detached from specific outcomes or ways of getting there.

Okay, technically, I’d also like to have [my spouse] back at home (“retired”), we’d be living very near my parents, and we’d be traveling more, but baby steps …

12 August 2020

We had service done on the car yesterday, plus family dental checkups. For the first time in years, we were able to pay for both directly from our checking account, rather than needing to pay with credit cards and accrue interest. That feels really good!

***

Although things weren’t yet the way I wanted them to be, they were definitely moving in that direction. The key in these days was that I kept envisioning what I wanted instead of throwing my hands up in disgust that things weren’t yet exactly the way I wanted them.

After all, our Divine teams and our individual wills work together to bring us what we want, but we are in a world full of other people with their own desires and wills (and Divine teams). And this world is very physical, very dense—meaning that it can take what feels like a very long time—though it isn’t even the blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things—for our dreams to manifest.

Finally, though, I had gained enough traction to keep myself from falling into fear in this first half of August. It was a gradual and very subtle change in early August, but it was no less significant for that. The empowerment of standing my ground rather than changing direction offered me a new, steady strength (or was it the other way around?).

Falling into fear, as I’ve discussed before, usually keeps us from being able to hear our intuition (nudges from our Divine Teams) and then often causes us to change course unnecessarily or too drastically. If we think of this like an accident blocking our route while we’re on a road trip, the fear can cause us to react and simply take the nearest road we see, rather than to respond calmly and look at a map (the bigger picture) to see if we can take just a small detour around the blockage—or simply wait patiently for the blockage to clear.

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